Woman who gouged out her own eyes shares horror details of why she did it

A woman who blinded herself after she dug out her own eyes with her bare hands has revealed why she committed the unthinkable act of self-harm.

Kaylee Muthart, from South Carolina in the US, was 19 when she mutilated herself in a meth-induced episode.

After dropping out of school at 17 for fear her slipping grades would ruin her chances of securing a spot to study marine biology, the then teen worked part time and began drinking and smoking weed socially.

READ MORE: Putin using barbaric Hitler-style tactics to 'terrorise and kill' Ukrainians, say experts

However, a year later, Kaylee was drinking and smoking more.

Although she avoided harder drugs, at age 19, she smoked a joint she believed to be laced with either cocaine or meth and had a "strange high" that made the devout Christain feel "particularly close to God", reports The Mirror.

Writing in Cosmopolitan aged 20, Kaylee described herself as a "lonely and unhappy" teen at the time, having distanced herself from friends and in a failing relationship.

She wrote: "I didn't have a job and my relationship with my boyfriend of two years began to deteriorate. To cope, I kept smoking pot and drinking alcohol and started taking Xanax recreationally."

  • Bloke, 82, looking for toilets dies after being attacked by swarm of angry wasps

When her relationship ended, Kaylee had a mental breakdown and was diagnosed with bipolar.

Still lonely and battling with her mental health, Kaylee would think back on how that laved joint gave her a sense of "peace", and began hunting down that high again and again.

Well and truly in the throws of addiction, Kaylee bought herself a larger quantity of meth than normal, and while high, wandered into a church while hallucinating.

  • Female doctor's naked body found stuffed inside suitcase in her own apartment

She recalled: I remember thinking that someone had to sacrifice something important to right the world, and that person was me. I thought everything would end abruptly, and everyone would die, if I didn't tear out my eyes immediately.

"I got on my hands and knees, pounding the ground and praying, "Why me? Why do I have to do this?"

She added: "I pushed my thumb, pointer, and middle finger into each eye. I gripped each eyeball, twisted, and pulled until each eye popped out of the socket — it felt like a massive struggle, the hardest thing I ever had to do.

  • Brits under attack from p*ssed-up German wasps who are 'jobless, extra bold and stingy'

"Because I could no longer see, I don't know if there was blood. But I know the drugs numbed the pain."

Terrified worshippers rushed out of the church in Anderson after hearing Kaylee's screams, but she fought them off. A pastor said he saw her squeezing her own eyeballs in her hands while they were still attached to her head.

Kaylee said: "I'm pretty sure I would have tried to claw right into my brain if a pastor hadn't heard me screaming, 'I want to see the light!' — which I don't recall saying — and restrained me.

"He later said, when he found me, that I was holding my eyeballs in my hands. I had squished them, although they were somehow still attached to my head."

To stay up to date with all the latest news, make sure you sign up to one of our newsletters here.

Source: Read Full Article