A woman has had to flee her home after receiving “disturbing and dark” messages from a 'stalker' that have her worrying for her safety.
Alexandra Saper is an American influencer, content creator, travel blogger and empowerment coach with more than 100,000 followers on Instagram.
One quick scroll through her feed and it looks like she has been living the dream life in Bali without a care in the world.
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But no one knew until recently that for months now, she has been receiving delusional and worrying messages from a man who has become obsessed with her.
Alexandra is trying to keep herself busy as she deals with the ramifications of this man’s actions but when she stops, even for a moment, the weight of the situation hits her hard.
“I just feel heartbroken that this is actually happening in my life – and it's scary,” she told Daily Star in an exclusive chat.
“I'm sad that I'm experiencing things like anxiety attacks and panic attacks that I have never had before.
“And I'm scared to go in public a lot of the time. It's new to me and it's sad to see the impact this has had.”
She added: “I haven't really had time to process or feel a lot of what's been coming up because I've been running for my life and trying all day to pursue justice.”
While Alexandra can’t confirm the exact date this man started messaging her, he's been sending her a barrage of Instagram messages, emails and videos for months on end.
In them, he describes in graphic and disturbing detail how he plans on kidnapping and killing her. He’s even detailed how he wants to shove her body inside a suitcase.
One particularly terrifying message, seen by Daily Star, reads: “"I am f***ing furious. When I get my hands on you, I'm going to have to punish you in ways you can't even imagine. It's going to be so dark."
And another says: "You're never getting rid of me. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you. If that included kidnapping, so be it. I will come and shove you in my suitcase."
After Alexandra blocked him on social media he found her email address and began contacting her there.
She blocked him there too but still received every message into her spam folder.
Over time his messages became more and more worrisome, as she said he detailed how he would sexually assault her and the different disguises he would wear to catch her off guard.
“As soon as he started emailing me, that's when it escalated", Alexandra said.
“When guys are just creepy and don't have good boundaries when you block them, they move on.
“But when he started going at me with emails, sometimes as many as 10 or 15 a day, I could tell things were obsessive at that point.”
Then three months ago, one of the most terrifying developments happened as she alleges he told her he was flying to Bali.
She claims she received his flight confirmation four weeks later, as well as photos of him near to her Bali home in the week following.
“It was December 2022 that I got the email or read the first email where he specifically said he was going to spend the rest of his life with me and if that included kidnapping, so be it. It has been sickening and terrifying,” she explained.
Sadly, it isn’t unusual for women to receive strange messages from men that they don’t know online so it can sometimes be difficult to know which threats to take seriously.
The moment Alexandra felt his messages were a real threat was when he sent the first email about wanting to kidnap her.
“[My friends and I] had all just kind of convinced ourselves that he was just trying to scare me, that he was just mentally ill, delusional and that he wasn't going to do anything.” she shared.
“But I just recently looked back on those texts I sent to my friend when I sent her that email. I was telling her that I was terrified and she was like, ‘Of course, you're terrified, he just threatened to kidnap you.’
“I started researching restraining orders, which isn't really a thing in Indonesia. But then the months went on and he was just talking about Bali and making these threats.
“I didn’t believe he was actually going to fly across the world and quit his job and come find me.”
Earlier this month, Alexandra filed an official police report against the man with Balinese authorities and has notified the UK and US embassies.
She has met with police chiefs, immigration officers and the US ambassador and has been doing extensive research into what rights she has.
While she told us that an investigation is ongoing, Alexandra feels completely vulnerable, so had to make the difficult decision to temporarily leave Bali and go somewhere she knew she’d be safe.
This way, she can start taking care of her mental health and focus on her client and business.
She won’t feel safe enough to return to her home until she knows her stalker is no longer there and that there has been a legal conclusion that has resulted in him being blacklisted from Indonesia.
“If he were to just get on a plane and leave, then there's nothing stopping him from coming back in a month or continuing to stalk me,” she explained.
“I travel a lot for work and that's concerning if he's free to do that. As long as one of these stalkers in the world is free to run around and stalk other people then none of us are really safe.
"I'm not going to feel safe on behalf of all these women if I just wash my hands clean of him but then he goes back to the UK and continues this.
“I have friends in the UK and I have friends that have been kind of connected to this case that he could target as he's done with some of my friends.
“So when he's deported from Bali, he's blacklisted from Indonesia and cannot come back to find me or hurt me, when he is arrested and sentenced or put away in psychiatric care for a long time in the UK is when I’ll feel safe.”
Alexandra posted a video to her Instagram account that detailed the harassment she has been facing and how she has had to flee to an undisclosed location for her safety.
The 31-year-old has been wowed by the support she’s received from people not just in her community but also online.
“I was terrified to post that video because I was sure it was going get backlash and people were going to be victim-shaming,” she said.
“And, gosh, I'm so grateful that that hasn't been the response. I've gotten maybe three or four nasty messages and that's it, I have felt so supported.
“It's heartbreaking because I feel like part of the reason this spread so widely is because it resonated with so many women and that shouldn't be the case.
“I have probably received hundreds of messages from women in the last week, sharing their own experiences all over the world, even in places where we think this doesn't happen.
“It's the same story everywhere and I think there's a lot of people that are rallying around me to not just see me have a victory in this fight, but for themselves as well.”
Alexandra wants people to know that if they’re being harassed and being sent concerning messages, there are laws in place that means police have to take them seriously.
She continued: “There are laws and these things are explicit crimes in the UK, in the US and Indonesia. It's shocking and I've had people say ‘Well, he didn't commit a crime yet’ but this is a crime.
“You can't just threaten people, that is forbidden by law, and you can't stalk people, that's illegal.”
Alexandra knows that some people are going to read her story and say the reason this has happened is because she puts herself on social media but stalking isn’t a unique phenomenon that only happens to women who put themselves online.
Women can be stalked by all manners of people, whether it be their neighbour, their boss, their ex or a complete stranger.
By going public with her story, Alexandra said she wants to make sure women who have experienced similar don't feel alone.
"If a man has this tendency to obsess and stalk, he's going to find a woman whether he finds her on social media or not.
“It's so easy for people to find ways to blame the victim. I want other women who might be going through something similar to know that I hear you and I believe you.
“I'm going to do everything I can to find justice in this and to raise awareness of this. And to hopefully share the steps that I went through to get my justice because it's not as easy as just going to the police.
“There is healing in coming forward, there are so many women who have experienced this. Hiding and being scared of sharing your story with people because they won't believe you is a prison that no one deserves to be in for the rest of their life.
“So whether that's finding a support group or getting trauma therapy or DMing me and letting me validate you or whatever it is, there's healing in sharing your story in a safe space.
“You did nothing to earn this, you did nothing to deserve this and you deserve to feel safe.”
If you want to reach out to Alexandra, you can do so through her Instagram here.
If you're being stalked, contact the police or get advice from organisations including the National Stalking helpline, which you can contact on 0808 802 0300. You can also find out more information here.
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