A man posted a brutally honest eBay listing for his caravan, describing the pile of junk as a "sad slab of misery on wheels".
Seller milnthorpe31584 said the motorhome reminds him of the "terrible life choices" he's made, as his ex-girlfriend convinced him to buy it.
The Bedford CF Motorhome, which he bought with his partner in 1984, is available on eBay for £620, The Mirror reported.
Aware that his item isn't the most glamorous product being sold on eBay, the man begins the advert straightforwardly.
It starts: "Well, well, well. Where do I start with this?"
The product description continues: "Up for sale is my 1984 Bedford CF campervan.
"A perfect restoration candidate for another coerced partner, or sadist.
"I never wanted a campervan, my now ex girlfriend did. So we comprised and purchased a camper, without ever laying eyes on it first might I add.
"It was intended to be a 'joint' project which in reality turned into her standing around for half a day complaining about the shed we'd bought, and the remainder of the time on my back about how long it was taking to transform it into her 'perfect tranquil cabin on wheels'. Yikes.
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"Fast forward a few months and she decided to up and leave (probably for a man with a much more impressive motorhome than mine) leaving only behind this sad slab of misery on wheels.
"Apart from being an eyesore and driving down local property prices, it serves as a personal reminder that the last few years of my life have truly and utterly been a waste.
"As you can probably tell by this point I'm eager to get this thing off of my drive and draw a line under this turbulent chapter. So without further ado here's a little more about the van."
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The seller then proceeds to say a bit more about the caravan's pros, including the lack of rust on the bottom.
It also a full wiring kit, water tanks, cladding, and a heater.
But the caravan doesn't actually run anymore, the seller added.
He finished the ad bluntly: "I'm just trying to get a little money back so I can go on a heavy night of drinking.
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"Perhaps visit a lady of the night depending on how well the auction goes and then close this awful chapter of my life.
"Happy bidding and good luck (God knows you're gonna need it)."
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